“I’m writing a novel,” I tell them. It might be friends of friends, work colleagues, or relatives. Already, just saying this one phrase has got me sweating.
“Ooh, what’s it about?” they ask. And then it happens: my face begins to cringe. I’m already apologizing for my work, afraid to stand by it.
I say something self-deprecating, like, “Oh, I wish I knew!” Or “I’ve hardly got anything done!” even though I have many pages under my belt. I started noticing this was happening whenever people asked questions about my novel — I was afraid and apologetic, mocking myself and my own silly efforts to write something important. I always ended up with a self-deprecating grimace on my face. And I bet you’ve done this routine too.
There’s just something so frightening about the idea of putting yourself out there and admitting that you are a novelist, or that you have something valuable to say and you’ve been devoting your career to it lately. It seems insufferably egotistical, or maybe just ill-advised, to be a novelist and to shout it from the rooftops.
But why can’t we be proud of this bold risky experiment that we’re embarking on? Why can’t we declare that we’ve gone all-in on this project, and that we actually like it? Why can’t we just say, “I’m proud of myself for doing this”, or “I think I’m a good writer”?
Enough apologizing.
I think it’s time to stop putting up with the cringing, submissive smile and the apology for our writing. It’s time to firmly tell ourselves, “Enough of that — be proud!” It’s time to say something firmly and confidently about what’s good in our novels.
If you find this sort of thing hard, as I do, start simple. There is a middle area between cringing and boasting, so work on finding it. Say one strong statement when asked, such as, “I’ve already written ____ pages,” or “I’m really excited to be nearing the end.” There — that wasn’t so hard, was it? Then, if your audience seems interested, allow yourself to get interested in your novel as well. Share some thoughts you’ve had about what the main idea is.
You’re only hurting yourself.
As my boyfriend pointed out to me lately, it’s not just that apologizing for your novel is a bad habit; it’s also going to hurt your novel’s success. It’s time to think about your novel’s future presence in the world. If even the people closest to the author have only heard that it’s some pathetic work that’s hardly worth blowing your nose on, are they likely to read it eagerly? Your chance to talk about your novel is just that — a chance to pave its way in the world, to find people who might be as excited about it as you are, or to find people who could even help get it published.
So it’s time for us writers to be proud of what we’ve accomplished, not apologetic!
I admire the fact that you can tell others you’re writing a novel. In my case, I can’t even tell others that I’m writing. I cringe when my close friends nudges me about what I do. So yes, thank you sharing this article. I’m taking this as an advice
The problem with talking about a just-started work or not yet started is that any idea will change as work on it progresses. From research, outlining, etc. to the first draft it would be slightly different and so on from draft one to draft x. You’d be talking about a book that when published isn’t the one you’d described.
If people ask me, I generally stay away from the plot:
“I’m working on two follow-on’s to my first novel. They’re both science fiction novels. One is for kids and one for adults.”
Honestly, less is more. I learned this when I was in my teens and asked about my relationship with my not-quite-Grandmother (I’ll spare y’all gory details):
Friend’s parents: “We sat behind your grandmother at the dance recital, and she told us how proud she was of you.”
Me : Opens mouth to explain relationship, then realizes it’s not important): “Yes, she told me. She had to go back to work.”
Consider simply responding with the genre and not much more. I don’t see any need to discuss the plot of my novels with kibbitzers.
I’m usually tight-lipped about my works in progress, and I rarely reveal anything about the plot (even to my close friends and family). My fear is that someone will say, “That sounds stupid.” But lately, doubts have crept in, and I’ve been the one saying that to myself! I try to stop when I catch myself doing it, but sometimes it’s hard. Thanks for the encouraging words!
I feel ashamed admitting that my novel involves vampires. I have a very popular and well-received online serial novel involving a vampire lawyer (“bloodsucker” pun intended!), and I don’t feel so ashamed talking about it–I guess because it’s supposed to be a satire and I can honestly laugh when I mention it. But my first “real” novel is serious, and I guess I’m afraid of 1) someone rolling their eyes over *another* vampire novelist, 2) having someone think it’s “Twlight,” 3) people not take me seriously as a writer because it’s about vampires.
I’m honestly less embarrassed to talk about my next book, which is a historical romance.
If you really don’t want to talk about your novel to someone who has unfortunately found out elsewhere that you are writing one, there is always this answer:
“So, you’re writing a novel–what’s it about?”
“Oh, it’ll be about 250, maybe 300 pages.”
Most people go away after that.
I don’t mind telling people I write. I’m proud of it! God, I’m so sick of other people who think it’s an easy endeavor. I
simply ask them when THEY intend to hunker down & write those “two or three novels rattling around in [their] head.”
I’m with Margaret–I tell them the genre & leave it at that. Or, if they are foolish enough to show genuine interest, I let them read what I’ve written. People are always supportive–
because it IS hard to write & have it come off sounding halfway decent!
L&K, MaryB
Mary, great idea to enlist the genuinely enthusiastic as readers. I can always use another pair of eyes.